A bit of a Scare

Today I was awoken to mommy in tears. "I'm bleeding." Even as I recall the image, my throat gets soar and my eyes well up.

I felt so weak - what could I do if something was wrong? I was totally helpless and it was the closest I've come to crying in as long as I can remember. We're so close to seeing our bundle of joy. To deny us this far along just doesn't seem right.

So in my moment of weakness, I did the only thing I could think of. I don't really consider myself much of a religious man, but today I prayed. I prayed for everything to be all right with mommy and baby and thankfully everything is.

It ended up being something silly (we were intimate over the weekend) . But when it comes to baby and mommy, I'd rather overreact to something silly than overlook something serious.

On a lighter note, the Dr. did a sonogram, just to make sure everything was ok with baby and asked the question everyone who performs a sonogram does - "wanna know the sex?" which we don't.

His reply - "Well I do." And he proceeded to peek. "Last chance?" Mommy and I stuck to our guns though. "Well I have my guess." he said with a smile and left the room.

At that moment I knew everything was fine. And doc, if you by some slim chance you read this, thanks for the light moment after what had been a nerve racking morning.

It's started to kick in - I'm going to be a dad

For the last 6 months I've seen the joys (and horrors) of pregnancy. And for the first 6 months it hasn't really hit me that I'm going to be daddy to a little bundle of joy (boy or girl - we didn't find out). But in a little over 3 months, Bob Wolfe, Jr. will no longer be. I will instead be forever known (at least by the family) as daddy, dad, father or something along those lines.

And as I approach my full conversion, I'm starting to have self doubts - Am I ready to be a father? Can I take care of another being? Can I truly give myself completely to my baby?

I hope I can - I've done all I can think of to help prepare me for fatherhood. I've read two father books - What to expect when you're wife's expanding (1 star out of 5) and Parking lot rules - (4 stars out of 5). I've set up the baby room (sans closet and bedroom door, but the furniture is set up). I've attended two baby classes (this is more to mommy than my own initiative). And I've done one of the most important things I can think of - I've set up a college/post high school fund. I'm serious about being the best father possible to my child.

But until I meet baby, I don't know how I'll be as a father. I can only hope I'm the person my child needs me to be. I hope I am the protector; the teacher; the supporter they need. Whether I can be that person or not, I can promise that I'll love my baby with all my heart and that I will do everything in my power to help him/her become one of the people the world needs - someone who is honest, hardworking, respectful, helpful and someone who has the resources needed to change the world.

Well that's all for my first post, it's bedtime and I want to read to baby tonight.